Friday, July 3, 2009

Canada Day - The truth revealed in a photo essay

Here's how you could tell that it was Canada Day on July 1st in our neck of the woods. First of all, the streets of North Vancouver were festooned with all manner of red and white.

Second of all, there was a parade!! I thought that I would take this opportunity to dispel a couple of myths about us so-called "mild mannered Canadians" as witnessed by our daring and edgy Canada Day antics. Here are "da byes, takin' 'er easy". The only thing missing is a cooler and a six pack of Blue Star.

Listen world, we are not simply "happy" and "jolly". We are complex and deeply troubled!! Our mascots are messed up and depressed. Check out the lion! Someone needs to get this guy some anti-depressants - and quick!!

And if our mascots aren't depressed, they are seriously disturbed furry anime characters on steroids, wearing EAR MUFFS on a blazing hot summer day!

We exploit children!! I mean, LOOK at this kid. He is clearly marching against his will. He is wearing a "poo face" that could rival the face Mister Man puts on when asked to dust!!

And then, there were a series of really C-RAZY drivers who were all with "the fast and the furious", performing daring and dangerous manoeuvres RIGHT into the crowds!! It was CHILLING to watch their flagrant disregard for life!!

Crazy clown car veering recklessly...tsk tsk tsk.

For pete's sake, even the boys from the United Nations are having a joy ride at our expense!!
And our own police force! They are clearly corrupt coppers - not mild mannered at ALL!

Then there were the dancers, who could rival Tyra in the fierceness department. Note the snarl and stylin' moves. Yeah, we think we CAN dance!! You gotta problem with that?

And finally, what does this mean??? "Karate - Kung Fu Tupperware." Anyone??

Hope this photo essay has dispelled a few myths.... From curbside Canada Day, here's a cute and rowdy Canadian gal givin' it the WOOT WOOT!
HAPPY CANADA DAY!!! (and yes it was...!)

1 comment:

  1. what a cute canadian girl! i think i'll stay.